smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
