dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
