True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
