I have demons in me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
