i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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