nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
