Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
