i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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