why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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