Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
