I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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