There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
