the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
