coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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