After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
