they need to just BURY HIM!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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