Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
