so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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