I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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