so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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