He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
