Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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