So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
