that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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