She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
