Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
