I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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