On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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