you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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