Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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