also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
