At least make sure they are 18
Why
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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