Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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