idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
