I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize