Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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