So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
