One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
