4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
