my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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