Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
