ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
