im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
