that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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