you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
