You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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