Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
