I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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