if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
