Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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