what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
