I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
