My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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