I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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