i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
