you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
