she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize