So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
