I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
