he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
